R.E.J.E.C.T.E.D

REJECTED. A deep thought from it. Related of many issues of me. I never try to talk to anyone, as none can understand. Im a resistant client, perhaps? Family, health, friendship, studies etc...killing me softly. So near yet so far away. I wish for a breakaway, a runaway. Family can be a soft spot, a weakness; poor health can be a blockage; friends can be bitches; studies can be a murderer. A deep sorrow which I can't solve easily, a sadness which follow me wherever I go, a misery that haunt me right after I awake. I hate. I angry. I disappointed. I...wanna scream. At last, I learnt. I back off. I become silent. Peace. Everything around me goes silent. But I heard cracking sounds in my heart. I listened carefully. It's the cracking sound of my heart. Making me hard to breath.

I smile with a broken heart, my friend. Do you ever noticed?

I miss home. (=

Especially Dedicated For You

如果你和你的他/她分隔两地 请不要放手

哪怕你承受着很痛苦的思念 哪怕每天晚上都会睡不着

只要你坚持了 那么你将拥有别人没有的幸福

珍惜现在所拥有的 才是你应该做的事

他/她不希望等来的是空白

有些事情等失去了 再回头就已经没有了

当你发觉他/她是多么爱你 对你多重要的时候

再回头说对不起 就已经太晚了

不是每句对不起 都会换来没关系的

执子之手白头偕老

因为你们的等待是值得的

虽然远隔千山万水

但是他/她的心时时刻刻都放在你身上

虽然你们想对方的时候只能发条短信

虽然你不开心的时候他没能陪在你身边

但是不要埋怨他/她

难道他/她不想陪你吗

找一个喜欢你的人容易

但是找一个用心爱你的人难

距离就是考验感情的试卷

时间就是考试的题目

茫茫人海可以找到心爱的人

这是多么大的福气

想你就是一份简单的幸福

能等到你和你在一起

才是真正的幸福

Read these sentences which someone linked to me, it touched my heart indeed. Maybe because I come across this experience too? I should citate the ppl who wrote this ho? But then I don have the source, juz forget bout it ba, ppl. xD My cousin married yesterday but too bad that I cant attend her wedding. I always love to attend wedding dinner cuz it is so pleasant and feel so sweet. I love seeing loving couples get married and attached to each other. Such a beautiful thing right? Yeapz! Haha. Well well well~~ Handling a relationship is never an easy task to accomplish, need a long period of time and strength to manage it well. I know Im talking sth deadly theory, you all must be thinking who also know this lo, hahaha..... == Forget it, I din say that before. =x

Today is Wednesday and I've no class for every Wednesday. So I went for grocery shopping with my friends and really bought a huge amount of groceries. == I did a grocery list before I went to shop but then I forgot to bring it out. == Fish memory can stands for 7 seconds only, sorry ppl. xD But I din miss a thing. *teehee* Big claps for myself. =D I woke up at 130pm on my lovely Wednesday. But then I feel awkward that I cant get used of the free time I got. Why? Cuz last sem I went to school 6 days a week. 6 days a week, ppl! Means Saturday also got class. == French class. Haha. Hmph.....so I'm cracking my head what can I do for my free time. Then I went for grocery shopping as I mentioned above lo. But good thing is, I can prepare for my assignments on my nothing-to-do Wednesday. LOL!

What else to say? Hmph..... Currently Im still homesick-ing. >.<>

祝天下有情人终成眷属

I've never regret. (=

Homesick...... T.T

As you all can see from my big title above, Im having homesick. Again. Terribly. *sigh* My semester break was juz 2 weeks time, which I think it is SERIOUSLY not enough, man......how will enough jek? My lil sis's semester break also 3 weeks at least la. T.T Long piak-ing. Currently, Im back to my campus and sitting in front of my laptop posting this "article", in my room. What else to say? Juz blogging mood strikes me suddenly, Imma random person. ==

Right after separating with my family, I feel homesick terribly. I mean right after, yea it is. The moment I turn back from waving goodbye to my family at the airport, my tears was rolling in my eyes. It juz came suddenly, without any memo or notice. == I thought I will be okay, at least I was still, when we were having dinner together, before my departure. Dad and me even joke bout nth to homesick or cry of bout leaving, since it was not the first time. I strongly agreed and nod my head that time. But then why the feelings get stronger and deeper from semester to semester?

I really miss them alot, super duper much that kind. Previously talked with a best friend of mine about this issue, she asked me did I notice I've been dependent to my family too much. I said yes, I never deny it. Family is really playing an important role in my life. She asked me did I notice it's actually not a good thing. Yea, it is...... Im an adult now but still love to hide in mom's embrace sometimes, still love to hold hands with my dad. I miss his warm and big hands. T.T I feel love and care in it. Sorry that I said sth that hurt him when Im in secondary form, the rebellious me. How childish I was. Zzz.

It always need days or weeks for me to adapt the life without them beside me, after Im back to uni life. Its not easy, for me. For a daddy's girl like me. == Its so often that I miss them till tears accompany me to sleep at night. So few of my friends are facing this condition as me, they are much more independent than me perhaps? Or Im more sticky to my family than them? Both. ==

Assignments are given to us since the first day we went to class. Everything was so familiar, familiar things are coming back to me. Which I had started to deal with since I get into uni. Those stubborn yet troublesome assignments. Not to say mid terms, presentations and final. This is my 1st week going to classes in this semester but I've felt the tension in me. Maybe the homesick has became the underlying cause which makes me feel weaker? I dunno, but most probably it is. *sigh* Tension is created by human self, not to blame anyone or some non-living things, eg. the assignments those. So perhaps its me pressing myself too much. Perfectionism. A cruel and stubborn kind of behavior, towards myself. Someone said me headstrong like a cow. == Head is really strong de ma, how to turn it 360 degree jek? LOL. Being lame again. Juz entertaining myself under this miserable condition. Be empathy, ppl. ==

Really miss home so much, how le? End of Sept juz can meet my family, such a long time for me. I feel like years, seriously!! Can I go back meet them in between? Dirty tricks. >.<>

Recently feel so tired, what's wrong le? Hmph......new semester juz get started but I've exhausted mentally and physically. Cant be that way. Fighting!!! ^^ Goodnight, ppl.

I cant get used to it still. (=