Je suis Triste

Hey all, Im back!!! Finally. xD Sorry that I stop blogging for such a long long time, haha. Hmph.....firstly, wad am I gonna update le? Yeah......I've started my 2nd year in 2010 and it's totally different with my 1st year. It's much more work to do. I mean, really MUCH MORE work to do. Assignments and mid term-s all come together almost at the same time, which really stress me up. Actually Im kinda low mood today, haha. But why am i still laughing when I said Im down? Discrepancy here. But sometimes, not shedding a tear is much more pain than crying out loud. Thats my feeling now......perhaps. =) *wink* It's so good to cry in rain or shower, you know? At least, it won't let others to know you're actually crying. Today I went to see doc, cuz I ain't feeling well so I was absent for my French class. Owh~ French~ Je'taime!! xD

Distance and apart is sth........difficult and breathless. It is really not easy at all. All it needs is trust. Gotta be strong, once you've chosen to be apart from each other. There's no IF when you wish to turn back time. Time waits no man and it juz keep going. Cruel, aye? Yea, it is. I've chosen to leave my home sweet home, coming all way long to a place that I have no idea about. Is it sth stupid or brave? Haha.....depends on you guys la. Choosing Psychology at Utar, is my own choice. Still rmb that dad asked me whether I really decided to go to Utar, I replied him yes. Without thinking of any further. Now thinking it back, it's really kinda......impetuous? Well, Im headstrong. >.< Undeniably, till now I am.

There's so much thing suppressed at the bottom of my heart. I know its unhealthy, I know it may cause me to have psychological prob if I don find a way to express it out. But, Im not get used to talk my prob to someone. Hmph.....not good not good, ho? Haha. Luckily, Im able to disclose a lil in my own blog. *teehee* These two weeks are my critical week in this sem, excluding my final exam week la. Haha. Assignments, mid term-s, all in these 14 days. Killing......me........slowly and softly. Long piak-ing. But long piak wont help. How good if long piak can helps to finish my assignments and done my mid term-s. In my dream tonight maybe will come true. *teehee* It really need courage and strength to keep moving on, alone. For me. There's no mum and dad take care of my routine life here, but all by myself. I questioned myself, why am I still not get used of life here, although one year had passed? Haha.......and I laugh at myself. I know my health isn't good but I still keep on doin sth that hurt myself. What's the point? Life is ridiculous. Unknown. Im an adult but Im still a mummy's girl. I may seem independent and steady in front of others, but Im a child in my parents' eyes. Im forever a child when Im with them. At this moment, I really miss them. I console myself that Im seeing them soon. To let myself feel better. I miss the moment when dad holding my hands walking and I miss the time when I lay on my mum to watch tv.

Oh no!! I will never grow up if I continue to be like dis. But, who cares? As long as Im happy and my parents are okay with it. =p I love my family till Im willing to sacrifice myself for them. Thats wad I shud do, cuz parents also sacrifice for their children, right? Right. Hell yea. == I sound like Im a good girl but I rebel my parents too. When Im young la, of cuz. Who doesn't have teenage life wor, right? Right. xD Oh no......my mood is really down to hell. Till I cant find where is it. How? Torchlight-ing. I still cant find it. Where had my heart gone to? To nowhere. I hate distance. From now on. I never think that distance is such a big deal, when I was young. == As time goes by, I hate it more and more. Dislike. Shi ro.

Fighting for myself!!! =)

Thanks for cheering up my life, letting me to live my life happier and easier. Thanks to travel all way long juz for meeting me up. Thanks for standing by me since from the beginning. Your love to me is always powerful and strong. All the care and support from you I've received, and I will stand up on my own. Pushing myself. Encouraging myself. Loving myself. =)



If there is an IF. I. Choose to stay.